


Catabolic Seed

by dogfighter3000



Series: Fluff, Angst, and General Prompt Fills [1]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Established Relationship, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Post-Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Sam Wilson Needs a Hug, Tumblr Prompt, sort of? they're figuring it out
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-23
Updated: 2021-02-23
Packaged: 2021-03-13 07:02:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,384
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29647560
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dogfighter3000/pseuds/dogfighter3000
Summary: “Give me one reason why I shouldn’t leave!” Bucky yells back, throwing his arms up in frustration.“Give me one reason why you should.” Sam counters, voice soft despite the way it rings in Bucky’s ears the same as if he would have shouted. Bucky almost wishes he would have shouted back. The calm, calculating way Sam was staring at him, the careful way he was keeping the hurt from his face was far more painful than any screaming match would be.(angst prompt #48 “Give me one reason why I shouldn’t leave.”)
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes & Steve Rogers, James "Bucky" Barnes/Sam Wilson, Steve Rogers & Sam Wilson
Series: Fluff, Angst, and General Prompt Fills [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2178573
Comments: 3
Kudos: 91





	Catabolic Seed

**Author's Note:**

> I used angst prompt #48 from Prompt List #1 created by tumblr user v4lentiines and the title is from the song Catabolic Seed by The Scary Jokes

“C’mon man, put your bags away. Let’s talk about this,” Sam sighs, barely able to keep up with the whirlwind that is his, now, only best friend, Bucky. Bucky who was, currently, dead set on tearing through his apartment, shoving only the necessities into the duffel bag that was normally stuffed into the bottom of his closet.

“Nothin’ to talk about Wilson,” Bucky barks back gruffly, stuffing a hoodie into his bag. It’s the first thing he’s said since they left Steve at the lake by Stark’s place.

“Wilson? Really? We’re back to last names, now?” Sam asks, leaning against the door frame to Bucky’s room, watching as he tore through the drawers of his half-filled dresser. Figuring it would only serve as a grim reminder, he props up the shield he’s been carrying against the wall in the hallway. “Take a minute to breathe. Tell me what’s running through your head right now.”

“Take a minute t-? Take a minute to breathe?? Really, Sam?!” Bucky groans, dropping the papers he’d been shuffling through back onto his desk. Running his new vibranium hand through his hair, he begins to start aggravatedly pace near the end of his bed. “Everything that’s just happened in the past five years that we’ve missed and you’re telling me to fuckin’ breathe?? I’ll be breathing just fine once I get the fuck out of this godforesaken city.”

“Jesus, Buck. What is going on? Why are you so hellbent on getting out of here??”

“Give me one reason why I shouldn’t leave!” Bucky yells back, throwing his arms up in frustration. 

Sam stands up straight in the doorway to the room. The silence between the two of them is thick enough to touch, though neither of them seem brave enough to reach out. Bucky’s hands twitch where they’re frozen in mid-air, indecisive as to whether they should nervously twist at his hair or fall back to his sides in defeat. His gaze darts twitchily around the room, a polar opposite to how Sam’s gaze is boring holes into the side of his turned head.

“Give me one reason why you should.” Sam counters, voice soft despite the way it rings in Bucky’s ears the same as if he would have shouted. Bucky almost wishes he would have shouted back. The calm, calculating way Sam was staring at him, the careful way he was keeping the hurt from his face was far more painful than any screaming match would be.

“Are you kidding me right now?” Bucky laughs near hysterically as he gives up restraining himself and starts anxiously twisting the hair brushing his shoulders and resumes his pacing. “After all the trouble he went through, all the fighting he did to find me and bring me back and to fuckin-to fucking break through all the bullshit programming and brainwashing HYDRA did! All of the blood, sweat, and tears of fixing my stupid fucked up brain! Steve broke up the goddamn Avengers and then he-he just…”

“Sure, Steve dealt us a shit hand by fucking off to the fifties and leaving us here to fix his Captain America sized mess,” Folding his arms across his chest, Sam steps further into the room. The shield wasn’t even in the room with them, but Sam could feel its towering presence looming just beyond the door to the bedroom. It lingered like a bad omen and sparkled like shiny, new opportunities all at once. “But you can’t just run off and leave everything that matters behind.”

“Steve was the only one who cared about me, Sam!” Bucky growls, finally whirling back around to look him in the eyes. “He was the only one fighting for me after HYDRA turned me into a fucking monster, and now he’s left me so he can go back to a past that he’d been telling me to move on from! And this-” Bucky kicks uselessly at the bedframe in front of him, making the headboard slam into the wall roughly and knocking his duffel onto the ground. “Stupid fucking apartment! Steve had been bringing my stuff here for weeks before the stupid fucking battle ruined everything!” He kicks at the bag on the ground, watching everything he packed into it moments before come tumbling out. “We missed five years! Five years Sam! He promised after the cryo I’d never lose time again!”

“Jesus, Buck, stop it-stop!” Sam crosses the room, grabbing Bucky’s metal arm and tugging him away from where he’s still kicking his things across the room. “You’re okay, man. You’re not alone this time, and you’ll never be alone again, alright?” Bucky stilled at Sam’s words, looking at him almost desperately before dropping his head in shame at his outburst. “Steve left me too, you know? He left me and he left me with a whole lotta new baggage to carry on my shoulders, you don’t see me running from it, do you?”

Bucky was quiet, staring down at where Sam’s hand was wrapped around his vibranium forearm. That had probably been the most he’d said since he came back from what the rest of the world was referring to as The Blip. Hell, it had probably been the most he’d spoken since the god damn 40s, if his memory served him correctly. It was a relief to have said it, he felt lighter and gutted and raw all at once.

“I just thought…” Bucky mumbles, suddenly exhausted as he looked back up to Sam. “Thought maybe I could matter to someone again. After everything.”

“Did you ever stop and think that you matter to me?” Sam replies, looking every bit as tired as the man in front of him. “Nah, don’t give me that look. I wouldn’t have joined you and Captain Numbnuts in that clown car road trip if you didn’t mean something to me, Barnes.”

“Barnes? C’mon, really?” Bucky murmurs, human hand sliding up Sam’s other arm, mirroring the way he’s holding onto Bucky’s metal arm. “We’re back to last names now?”

Sam throws his head back with a laugh, right arm sliding up to wrap around the back of Bucky’s neck, tugging him closer. Metal arm curling around Sam’s waist, Bucky closes the space between them without hesitation.

“You think you’re real cute, huh, Buck?” Sam snickers, grinning up at Bucky who hides his face in Sam’s neck in response. “Don’t go hiding now!”

“M’tired,” He mumbles into the side of the other’s neck. Winding his free hand under one of Sam’s thighs, he lifts him up off the ground. Sam yelps as he struggles to balance himself with both arms around Bucky’s shoulders. With a few staggering steps, Bucky takes both of them to the bed and falls back onto it, Sam on top of him. 

“We are going to talk about this, I hope you know that,” Sam smiles lazily, reaching down to brush the messy hair out of Bucky’s face.

“Mhm.”

“You can’t just nap your way out of uncomfortable conversations. That was a sizable freakout you had there,” Sam continues prodding, watching as Bucky sleepily nods, eyes already closed.

“Uh-huh.”

“Not to mention you need to find a new therapist. Or see if the old one is still in practice after everything. You know how important mental health can be, as I always sa-WOAH!” Bucky interrupts Sam’s teasing by rolling over and wrapping around him with all four limbs like an octopus.

“Y’suck at nappin’. I’ll talk later, promise,” Bucky grunts, already halfway asleep from the looks of it. Sam shakes his head fondly, letting his own eyes fall shut as he gently runs his fingers through the untangled bits of Bucky’s hair.

“Ok, ok. I believe you,” He sighs, wiggling until they’re both in comfortable positions again. Sam vows to change the dusty bedding after they wake up from their nap. “I love you, Buck.”

“Love you too,” Bucky presses a clumsy kiss to Sam’s shoulder and is snoring loudly almost immediately after.

As he drifts to sleep as well, Sam realizes that he can’t be Bucky’s sole reason for staying here, that him mattering to someone doesn’t define his worth. There’s a lot to work on, even after the cryo in Wakanda, but getting him to stay, if just for the night, was a good start.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first time writing angst and it was so hard, I couldn't fully commit! I just want them to be happy!
> 
> Anyways, hope you enjoyed!


End file.
